“Marriages are much more likely to succeed when the couple experiences a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions whereas when the ratio approaches 1 to 1, marriages are more likely to end in divorce.–John M. Gottman.
After the intensity and excitement of the initial coming together, we find ourselves, sometimes only a few years later, sometimes decades into the relationship, far away from our partner. That initial 5 to 1 ratio, Dr. Gottman mentioned above, has become a 1 to 1. When this happens, clients tell me how disappointed and unhappy they are in their relationship. In the unhappier couples, I hear things like, “I’ve fallen out of love.” Or, “I can barely stand to be around her/him.” In the better ones, people tell me, “We’ve become really good friends. Or, “We’re more like roommates now.” Sometimes, they share they are having an affair or thinking about it. Or they want to leave the relationship altogether. They’ve given up.
As a therapist and person, I know how difficult unhappiness in a relationship can be. Constant arguing, sexual and intimacy dissatisfaction, unmet needs, infidelity, unsolvable problems, and addictions, to name a few, can leave you hopeless and lost. In my couple’s therapy sessions, we work to understand your struggle and pain to help you move forward in achieving your goal of happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment.
Below are some of the common areas about relationships that I help couples with in therapy:
Negative communication
Gridlock
Different parenting styles
In-law stressors
Money
Infidelity
Don’t feel attracted to your partner
Unmet needs, including relationship (love) addiction
Feeling alone in the relationship
Life transition stress–a new job, a child, empty nesters
Poor boundaries
Jealousy
Porn
Intimacy issues
Sexual issues
Addictions
Technology
Lack of trust and commitment
Couples counseling can help you reconnect and rebuild your love for one another. It can improve the quality of your life and relationships. Most importantly, I help you learn how to maintain your connection for years to come.
If any of the above relates to you or your relationships, contact me today. I would be happy to speak to you about how I can help.
We will do more than validate your pain. Together, we will create new meanings to your suffering and pain. We will expand beyond your limitations through improving, repairing, and problem-solving.
